Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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