Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
