We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
