Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
