you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
