I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
