i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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