let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
