I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
