My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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