Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
