can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
