it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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