chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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