I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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