why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
