I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
