Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
