I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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