Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
