I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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