I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
