Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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