Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize