Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
