he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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