These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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