yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
