I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize