My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
