Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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