I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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