lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
