and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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