This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
