Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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