I don't think brook has ever known best
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
