Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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