we have officially lost it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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