Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize