she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
