I love black thongs
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
