hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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