After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
