On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
