So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize