does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
