when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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