Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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