Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize