They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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