She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
