Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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