The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
