What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
