she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize