it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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