There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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