i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
