I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
