id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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