i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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