I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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