Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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