how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
