he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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