I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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