i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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