Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this boner is exhausting
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
