You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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