Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
